Heybabeimwearingurpanties
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
