I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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