my being single is dangerous.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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