I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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