Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
