Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
