Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
