You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
