the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It's blow job season.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
this is an emotional support booty call
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
