I cannot find my penis.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
