My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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