Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
All I want is dick and wine.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
