You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize