that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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