We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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