life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
