whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
