Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
