Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
