anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
