uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
