you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
