The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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