You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
