I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I hate all girls vehemently.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
