Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize