Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
