so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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