Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
