You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
