around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
