God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My ass is underappreciated
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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