my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
