She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
