It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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