Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize