i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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