You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
