I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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