She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
