Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
