I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
