I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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