I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
