There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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