As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
