i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I have post one night stand depression
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