I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize