He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
