is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
