As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Randomize
