508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize