the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We're too hungover to prance.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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