Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
