he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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