we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
