Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
