yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
