Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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