and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
