I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
