i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
