I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
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