Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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