Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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