what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
