im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
