plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
