This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize