dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
