Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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