either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I will be naked everywhere
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I can't put those talents on a resume
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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